Archive for March, 2012

Before we leave

March 28, 2012

I figure that I might as well do this before we leave. I still have no idea how things are going to turn out on this trip. I haven’t heard whether or not we are taking my computer, and if we do take it I’m not sure how much internet access I will have. Anyway, I might as well work a little on this book, er pamphlet, since I’ve done everything I need to do this morning anyway.

The first real chapter of the pamphlet begins by talking about evil. Alcorn writes “We all know something is wrong whenever we’re hurting”. our suffering reminds us that this world is not a perfect place. Evil elevates someone or something against God. That’s what happened in the garden and got us into trouble in the first place, isn’t it.. Hmm, so is it wrong to want more of a life where I make more of my own decisions. I don’t know! I wish I did.

Alcorn writes, and I’ll paraphrase here, wrongdoing is a primary evil and suffering is a secondary evil.. I know, personally that I’m more okay with suffering than doing something wrong. I feel awful when I do wrong things. I know better, but for some reason I choose to do wrong, and that makes me feel worse about everything.

I am going to go on and go.. If I don’t write before, I will try my best to write on Monday.

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Making myself do this

March 27, 2012

I have started reading a novel that I’m dying to know how it ends! But I’ve been good, allowing myself only a little time to read as I’ve worked today… I am researching more on becoming a travel agent, and think I may have found the place I want to work through. Now to figure out how to pay for the classes and start up fees..

On to the book, Alcorn begins talking about how he finds the scriptures a real source of hope. I find solace in the scripture as well… I know heaven is an absolutely wonderful place where everything wrong will be made right. My question is, the thing I’m dying to know is, will things ever really change for me in this life? Is that a wrong question? Is it wrong to want more here and now? I’m not sure of the answers to these questions.

Alcorn insists that scripture  is doing when we go through difficult times. And unlike friends’ advice or anything else we hear, scripture is absolutely true and must be taken to heart. I totally agree with that. Believing in scripture, having that as our foundation is what gets us through the most difficult times.

It is still yet to be determined whether I am taking my computer or not. So I am not sure whether I am going to be able to post anymore this week. We shall see..

Thinking through things

March 26, 2012

I have no idea if I am going to get to the book or not. I do know that I am going out of college once again Wednesday. It hasn’t been decided whether or not I can take my   computer, so I’m not sure how many times I’ll be able to do this.

Dear friends of ours moved out of town this week. And just last night, another dear friend said that she hopes to move back to her home, states away, by the end of this summer. Selfishly, I wish that wouldn’t happen.

But more to the point, our own move to another state has come up a couple times in the the last days.. And I hate that thought. If I were on my own, and able to stay here on my own, I would be fine with it. But I have no idea if that would work out. I don’t think my parents would be happy if it did.

I have started looking into becoming a travel agent more. I know this is a direction I would really like to go in. But to my frustration, I have no idea what might happen. It’s hard!

To do this or not?

March 22, 2012

I did not really do anything this morning, just read over some old stuff I had written, old starts of novels.. I did manage to do some things this afternoon, so I feel better. One day soon, I hope to have a real, paying job, and I will have to make myself work even when I don’t feel like it. I think I may have been too frustrated about not knowing about job stuff to write.

I have my group tonight, really looking forward to that. So that’s why I was debating about posting anything today. But I think that I do have time, and I think this weekend is going to be busy. So here goes.

Alcorn goes on to remind us of when God says to Moses, “I have seen the misery of My people,. .. And I am concerned about their suffering.” I like that. I like knowing and being reminded of the fact that God does see everything going on. Surely He sees all the pain we go through, all the heartaches and disappointments.

I haven’t finished the introduction. But need to go for now…

Starting an experiment

March 21, 2012

Thanks to a generous friend, I just purchased the book I want to blog about. Not only that, but I also was able to preorder a novel I really want to read. It’s the last in the series.. I’m hoping that the main character comes back to her senses and gets back to her first love. But anyway, enough about the novel.

The nonfiction book I’ve been drawn to and want to blog about is “If God is Good, why do we suffer?” by Randy Alcorn. I’m disabled, and being disabled is not fun… Oh, there are perks like parking permits, Medicaid, and more importantly being interesting to interesting to kids who want to know how that computer thing works. But I hate having as much trouble as I do finding work. I hate being almost thirty six (April 9th), and still being treated like a child. I often feel like my life is going nowhere, that I just exist day to day, having little choice over anything that happens. And it’s really hard!

I’ve prayed for years to be made well. Others have and continue to pray for my healing. But nothing happens! Am I doing something wrong? I try my best to be right before God, though I know that I’m not perfect by any means. Do I not have enough faith?

I have decided to start with the pamphlet of the book and see how that goes. I know myself, sometimes I have this brilliant idea, but I end up not following through well at all. So blogging through this pamphlet will help me figure how to do this.

And of course, my hope is that we will have interruptions to this, as I figure out a job and everything else.

Now to the book.. I’m just reading the preface to the pamphlet. It says that everyone goes through pain. It may be physical, emotional, or even spiritual. I know I have personally experienced all three at some point in my life. It appears that Randy himself is disabled.. The pamphlet is going to discuss some of the major themes of the book..

Like I said, this is an experiment and we will see how it goes.

Confessions

March 20, 2012

I love getting comments, but I was even more excited to get a comment from someone whose name I didn’t recognize yesterday. It made me feel good, like someone actually reads this. Please keep the comments coming.

Anyway! My confession is that sometimes I have no idea what to write. I felt like this today. We’ve been gone this past week. And I’m working on some things, but there is no big thing to report at this time.

So I had this idea… There is this book that has caught my eye several times at a friend’s. I mostly read fiction, the last time I read a nonfiction book was… Well, I can’t remember. But this book really caught my eye. And so I brought this book with some Christmas money I had.

So today when I had no big news, I thought about this book and thought about blogging through this book. I thought about trying to blog more often. I was thinking through which angle I’d take with the book.. However, opening my Kindle, I find that I do not have are that book. I bought a pamphlet of that book… I’m frustrated by this. But my birthday is coming up, and hopefully I’ll get more money on my Kindle. I think that I am going to get this book then… I might blog about the pamphlet. I haven’t decided yet.

On the road yet again

March 13, 2012

This is likely the only post I will write this week. We are going to Florida to see friends that I grew up with. It is going to be a fun visit. We always have fun going down there. There’s always interesting things to do, plenty of great food, and a good time to be had by all.

I want to go, I do… But right now it feels like all I really do is play. I know I have work to do, but with us going out of town all the time, it’s just frustrating.

I haven’t done much of anything on this this week, but I’m still interested in becoming a travel agent. I just need to figure out which program I want to go with and bite the bullet somehow…

So many different things feel very up in the air lately… And I’m not sure what to do about anything yet..

Doing some major thinking

March 10, 2012

It’s Saturday, I know… I still haven’t figured out for sure whether or not I want to pursue becoming a travel. I think I do. I think it would be a good career for me. It does sound like you can do most everything online, and it is a pretty flexible business, as long as you’re good about checking your e-mail, which I am… One person said she isn’t making a lot doing this, but I’m not even really sure what that means. My plan is to try to figure that out more this coming week.

Honestly, I have no idea how much it would take me to live on my own. I’m not one who really wants to live extravagantly by any means. I think I’d be happy eating things like macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, burritoes, and other cheap things like that. I also think I might be pretty content with a studio apartment or something like that. I’ve lived all my life without cable. I am really not one to buy clothes, or for tha tmatter, I can’t think of anything I buy a lot of..Kindle books might be a thing I’d like to buy more of, but surely I can make do with the freebies like I have been doing.

If I could work as a travel agent six to seven hours a day, and then write a couple… I think that might work well for me. .. I need to make sure I get enough rest. And I will want to do things with friends.. Hopefully I can figure this out..

Ups and downs

March 6, 2012

As I’m getting more a following, um it is not a big following by any minds, but it is a following, and I want to be faithful to those who do follow this. And so I want to do my best to get at least two posts to you each week. By the way, this is by far the longest I’ve kept up a blog.

Today started great. I got up pretty early and read. I knew we were going down to the abortion clinic to pray early this morning, and  also knew that we had to vote sometime today… Praying I had no qualms about. We go to pray most every Friday morning. And today since we were going early, no patients were to be there. Seeing people going in and out of that makes me so sad..

Praying down there went well.. There was another lady down praying with Mom and me. The three of us prayed some and talked some.

Mom had to run errands once we finished praying… Mom is a busy person. She does most of the errands for Dad’s business as well as all the grocery shopping and things like that, so I knew we would have to do some things while we were out. Had hoped it wouldn’t taking as long as it ended up taking. But anyway.

Voting… I have a confession to make, voting makes me nervous, like I’m taking a test I haven’t really studied for.. Today it turns out that we were only voting on one thing.. And I know exactly who I want to win this election.. I feel a lot better now to have that behind me. And yes, I have a feeling that November is going to be different, but I’m not thinking about that right now, thank you!

I came home, and the computer wasn’t working well, but I managed to do what I wanted… However, once my aide left for the afternoon, the computer wouldn’t work at all. Much to my surprise and detight, playing with the settings on my communication device got things working again.

I looked more at becoming a travel agent yesterday… It is definitely something I’m interested in.. But I’m still not sure of anything yet.

Thinking

March 3, 2012

First, a couple of different people have started following me, and I want to thank them! That’s always exciting to see another person is following me. So thank you!

Mom and I got back home on Thursday Thursday. Coming home was hard! I did not want to leave my sister and new nephew at all! It was so much fun to see them every single day. However, now that we are home.. Now that I am catching up with friends, and getting back into somewhat of a more normal life, I wouldn’t say that I am necessarily glad to be home, but I’m slowly getting used to that idea.

I am once again toying with the idea of trying to get into travel agent work. I am going to do some exploring of this idea this coming week. I’ve found one route I might be willing to go. This company would provide all of the training I would need, and would pay me even while I’m training. My concern is that I’d have to pay something up front, as well as a monthly fee.  I’m not sure I want to do that. But I’m still considering it, haven’t decided. So, hopefully this week I’ll have some good time to work, and I’ll be able to figure this out better.

And I am going to say this too. Having ideas as far as jobs go is encouraging to me! It really is.